


Of Attachment and Avoidance

by quinnfabs



Category: Glee
Genre: F/F, Future Fic, Really Light Angst, Reconciliation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-17
Updated: 2014-08-17
Packaged: 2018-02-13 14:08:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2153475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quinnfabs/pseuds/quinnfabs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It takes courage to fix a friendship which has been lost for years. Quinn thinks she'll never have it. Mercedes hopes that she does.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Attachment and Avoidance

Quinn sits in the back row, as far from the front she can be, when Mercedes goes on her solo tour. She’s always felt guilty about the way their friendship ended the way it did. It was her fault after all. It didn’t matter if she was struggling with accepting herself, she should have known better than to cast aside one of the only true friends she’s ever made. She thinks it’s too late now, Mercedes has better friends and Quinn has a new life where none of this matters anyway.

In any case, she’s still sitting at this concert. In awe of what Mercedes has achieved, how hard she worked to do it. She remembers the first time Mercedes told her that she wasn’t sure if she’d ever be on stage the way that other girls were. Because she didn’t think she was beautiful enough. Today, Quinn thinks that Mercedes has never looked more beautiful. She sees how Mercedes commands the stage, captivates everyone in the audience, and compels them to listen with not just their ears but their souls as well.

When Quinn really thinks about it, she’s not sad about not becoming a performer; that was never the life she had in mind for herself. She loved glee club but it wasn’t because of the singing it was because of the comfort she received from the people there. Mercedes on the other hand, she shines in this atmosphere. Quinn hardly notices anything else around her, the way Mercedes sings. It’s almost like the rest of the world stops.

Quinn doesn’t know what she would say to Mercedes if she stayed for longer so she slips away quietly before the show ends. She hates that she still lacks the courage to fix what’s been broken between them, she hates herself a little bit more that evening.

***                                                                            

When Mercedes is in her hotel room that night, she sees that she has one voicemail, left by one Quinn Fabray. She stares at it for a second, wondering if the message was a mistake or not, and soon the anticipation wills her to listen to it.  

“Hey.” Quinn’s voice begins, a little rushed. “I’m sorry I couldn’t make it to your show. I’m sure you were wonderful.” There’s a sharp intake of breath before she continues, “I had a request, for your next one. Maybe you could sing _Beautiful_. I mean, if you want. I always thought that you sounded the best when you sang that song. Anyway, I’ll talk to you later. Take care.” The message ends with a beep, and Mercedes can’t help but reminisce.

She thinks about how she felt, all those years ago in high school, when Quinn stopped talking to her. She wasn’t that surprised, it was shocking to her that Quinn ever even spoke to her in the first place. It didn’t make sense, not with the way the hierarchy was laid out back then. She remembers how there used to be a sharp stab of pain whenever she thought about Quinn, and how hurt she was to realize how disposable she was. How slowly, that sharp stab developed into a dull ache, one that only ever appeared at late nights when she couldn’t sleep and pondered about what would have been different if they stayed close. Eventually, after high school ended, she stopped feeling any pain at all, just a strong sense of nostalgia.

Now though, after listening to the voicemail, that sharp, stinging pain returns.

Mercedes doesn’t sing _Beautiful_ the next day, she can’t bring herself to. She’s not sure if she’d be able to get through it without bursting into tears, especially with the painful reminder of loss the message brought her.

***

Quinn gets a letter in the mail, from an unidentified sender. Inside the envelope is a ticket to Mercedes’ secret show, one that apparently only a handful of people know about.

She goes, of course she goes. She doesn’t go to the back this time, but doesn’t quite stand in the front either. She stands in the middle somewhere, hoping that she’ll be masked by all the other people there. She’s surprised how many people a ‘handful’ really is, the room is packed, full of people who clearly love Mercedes.

When Mercedes says that she has one last song to sing, that it’s dedicated to a friend she had when she was in high school, this unlikely friend who helped her feel like she was beautiful, Quinn feels her throat seize up and the tears begin to fall down her face on their own accord. She never expected Mercedes to actually listen to her.

“Q,” Mercedes says into the microphone, once the song ends. “If you’re in the audience right now, I just hope that you’re still feeling beautiful.”

The audience claps loudly and cheers, and Quinn’s shell-shocked. Silently, she stands up, weaves her way to the front and sneaks her way backstage. She’s tiny and extremely inconspicuous, and she has mastered the art of getting what she wants from people when she needs to, so it’s a rather simple task. She hasn’t quite figured out what she’s going to say when she sees Mercedes, but she knows, that after the song Mercedes just sang, she needs to do something.

There’s a million thoughts buzzing through her head, she’s not sure where to start. She wants to apologize but isn’t very sure if words would make a difference at this point, after all these years. She thinks about talking about how great Mercedes was up there on stage. Or maybe how she would sneak into shows just to hear Mercedes sing.

But she doesn’t end up saying any of those things when Mercedes opens to door to her incessant knocking, she doesn’t end up using any words at all. Just pulls Mercedes into a tight hug and sobs into her shoulder.

Mercedes cries too, allows all of her pain to finally be released. “I’m so glad you’re here” she mutters quietly.

Quinn grins, “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” She pauses for a second, before continuing forlornly, “I’m so sorry Mercedes. I think of all the stupid things I did in high school, losing you as a friend was the stupidest.”

“Hm. I wouldn’t say that. Making that ‘Glist’ was pretty high up there.”

And just like that, they’re laughing, just like they used to years and years ago when they were still learning to love themselves. And just like that, the emptiness in Mercedes’ chest fades away, the guilt Quinn felt for years dissipates. And just like that, they’re able to begin again. Create a new friendship, one which they intend to cherish and take care of the way it deserves.


End file.
